The Dance
by Rita Marx
Summary: A backyard Bar BQ with Jedi in attendance and a hampster.


  
Title: The Dance  
Author: Rita Marx pinduck85@yahoo.com   
Rating: G  
Category: Humor =:O   
Summary: A backyard Bar BQ with Jedi in attendance and a hampster.   
Generic Disclaimer: If you recognize it -- I don't own it. If you don't recognize it -- I probably do own it. And no, I'm not making any $$$ off this, the Hampton the Ham said Republic dataries are no good -- only real money.   
Plot bunny: This plot hampster =:)8 *ambushed* me in Camelot Music!   
*** Death to all plot hares =: Long live the plot bunnies =:) ***   
(Plot hares are responsible for all those annoying kinks in story lines.)  
Feedback: Sure. Flames will be nuked @={  
Archive: You want it? You can have it. Just let me know so I can go visit. :)   
Note: ^lyrics^ ::actions::   
  
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Zelda, the hostess, settled onto a barstool by the outside bar. The party had finally settled down after the last "incident" that ruffled a few of her feathers. Right now, she sat trying to enjoy the stillness and attempted to calm down her nerves a little more.   
  
This shindig had taken a lot of planning and had likewise taken a lot out of her. The theme tonight was the Wild West. Everyone was encouraged to come in costume, but it was not mandatory. Even the band, a group of talented young musicians calling themselves "Coyote Pretty" had come dressed like saloon girls. For the moment, they were mingling and relaxing between sets.   
  
Soft party music was coming from the speakers placed strategically around the expansive patio for the best acoustics. There was not a karaoke machine in sight and no one dared to even whisper the dreaded "K" word.   
  
On the dance floor several couples glided to and fro dressed as cowboys and cowgirls. Everything was finally back to some semblance of normality. Well, "Normal" for a party like this, anyway...   
  
At least half an hour had passed uneventfully.   
  
Suddenly, a shriek pieced the peaceful air. "A rat! A rat! Get it away from me! Get it away!" Near the carefully sculpted bunny topiary at the rear entrance of the mansion, a young woman jumped bodily into the arms of the man she was talking too. In an effort to catch her, his champagne glass shattered on the flagstone. Across the yard, women took their cue and began leaping up onto chairs, chaise lounges, coffee tables and even the piano, and into the arms of the gallant cowboy nearest them. Several men started high-stepping in order to avoid stepping on a small, orange-furred animal. This progressed from the front of the patio towards the back near the stage where the band had setup.   
  
Several small, furry shapes were spotted, yet remained elusive. Strangely, they all seemed too large for rats, and rats were not orange, either.   
  
Again the first woman screamed and tried to climb onto the shoulders of her man. In a lightening quick move Qui-Gon lunged to capture the rodent. He came up with a smile and a chuckle. Cupped in his large hands only a tiny black nose could be seen poking out from between his fingers. In a gentle voice he began speaking to it.   
  
"Get that rat out of here!" the woman squealed. Her man was trying to calm her down, but it wasn't working.   
  
Qui-Gon continued his conversation with the rodent silently, through the Force. Finally, he nodded. Looking at the young woman he spoke, "It seems you have insulted my little friend here by calling him a rat. He is not a rat."   
  
"What are you talking about?"   
  
"See for yourself, Alice." Qui-Gon opened his hands to reveal a rodent. Not of the vermin variety, but of the cute variety. It was a hampster. A hampster with bright, black eyes and wearing small, red bowtie under his chin. His long whiskers bobbed up and down, up and down, up and down as he peered at the woman who had so insulted him. He pushed his chin up to seemingly look down his tiny, black nose at her. "He says his name is Hampton. And as you can clearly see, he is *not* a rat." Qui-Gon's voice urged an apology.   
  
Alice looked again at the adorable tiny nose bobbing up and down, up and down, up and down. She melted. Feeling a little silly about talking to an animal, she none the less apologized. "I stand corrected. I apologize for calling you a rat...Hampton. You are not a rat. You're much cuter."   
  
Hampton seemed to smile and even winked at her before looking up at the very tall human who held him. "He accepts your apology, Alice. Remember, even animals have feelings."   
  
"Yes, Master Jinn."   
  
Over at the bar Zelda was ordering another drink. The fancy glass slid across the bartop and into her hand. Placing her chin on one hand she anchored her elbow to the bar and eyed the small, dark shape scittering across the polished counter top. Her eyes went wide and she rubbed them with the heel of both hands. She looked again. She looked into her blue margarita glass. She knew she wasn't drunk -- yet. She was just a mite tipsy, that's all. "What did he put in this margarita?" She looked again at the small dark shape sitting in front of her. "Oh, *great.* Now, I'm seeing things." She closed her eyes and reached out for the Jedi on the other side of her. Grabbing him by the shoulder, she yanked him closer. "Tell, me -- what do *you* see sitting over there?" She pointed at spot in front of her.   
  
"I see nothing."   
  
"Are you sure?"   
  
"Yes, quite."   
  
Zelda looked back. Sitting next to her blue margarita was a brown hampster wearing a white Stetson and a bolo tie. He tipped his hat with his brown gloved paw and smiled at her. She heard him whisper, "Howdy, Ma'am. My name is Dixie. It sure is a pleasure to meet a fine looking filly like you."   
  
Zelda turned to see the Jedi had vacated his seat. She was now the only one at the bar; even the bartender was absent. Groaning, she pushed her drink away and gently tapped her head on the polished counter top. "I've really got to stop drinking at this events." She looked up again to study the little cowboy-hampster. "No, what I need is a shrink." She gulped her drink down in one huge gulp and slammed her glass down. "Bar keep!"   
  
At the buffet table, a small, grey hampster popped up by the deserts. Master Windu looked at him and nodded, "Hello, Hado, try the cream puffs -- they have Nutella filling." The little grey hampster thanked him and started nosing a cream puff. His long whiskers bobbed up and down, up and down, up and down.   
  
In the huge marble fountain, a smaller, orange hampster was riding a blue surf board with the Australian flag painted on it. Coming to sit on the edge, Master Gallia exchanged a few words. She smiled and found his Aussie accent quite charming. He said his name was Fuzzy.   
  
A hand encased in a black leather glove with side fringe went unseen as it slipped a new CD into the player and withdrew. The player rotated to the next disc.   
  
From across the yard, what started as a whisper slowly got louder and louder and louder as many small voices began to repeat their mantra, "bounce in time, Bounce in time, Bounce In Time, Bounce in , Bounce in, Bounce In, Bounce In Time..." And the music began...  
  
^ de de de da de de do do  
^ de de de da do  
^ de de de de de de de de  
^ oh de oh de oh di do  
  
From every corner and every bush and every potted plant sprang more hampsters, and more hampsters, and more hampsters. The party was nearly overrun with hampsters of every hampster color and every hampster size. Many wore tiny leather vests and bolo ties, while others wore calico print dresses. Some of each wore cowboy hats.   
  
As one, they began bouncing in time with the music. Bouncing up and down, up down, up and down... Somewhere a jaw-harp twanged the contagious melody.   
  
^ de de de da de de do do  
^ de de de da do  
^ de de de de de de de de  
^ oh de oh de oh di do  
  
Hampton the Hampster had made his way to the stage area and picked up the microphone.   
  
^ All right everybody now here we go  
^ It's a brand new version of the Do Si Do  
^ Just stomp yer feet and clap yer hands  
^ Come on everybody it's the Hampster Dance!  
^ Bounce in time to the beat  
^ You don't even have to move yer feet  
^ Just shake yer thang, like to see you move  
^ Now spin around and feel the groove  
^ YEE HAW!!  
  
^ Come everybody, clap yer hands  
^ Come everybody, it's the Hampster Dance  
^ Come everybody, clap yer hands  
^ Come everybody, it's the Hampster Dance  
^ YEE HAW!!  
  
As he let out the last YEE HAW!! Hampton stage dived off the piano and ran to join his buds, and together they began the Hampster Dance.  
  
:: stand up and bounce up and down, up and down, up and down  
:: tap right foot  
:: swing out left paw  
:: stand on left foot, then the right  
:: jump high and click heels together  
:: spin around  
:: jump high and click heels together...  
  
Across the party everyone, hampster and non-hampster alike was getting into the spirit of the dance. The melody was contagious; no one was immune to its effects.   
  
Obi-Wan, dressed like buckaroo, complete with bandana and Stetson, grabbed his girl and hit the dance floor with feet tapping and heels clicking. Qui-Gon lost all propriety and shed his robe to out-do his padawan.   
  
Dressed in a black leather duster and leather pants Mace flung off his ten-gallon hat and caught a lamp post. He spun around shaking his groove thang.   
  
The band members leaped up onto the bar and bar-stomped to the beat.   
  
Zelda looked up to see someone wearing a giant hampster costume complete with a red bowtie under his chin. The costume went all the way down to below the knees of the person inside. He really *did* look like a real, giant hampster. Zelda took the last swing of her drink and squinted at the giant hampster. "That *is just* a costume. Isn't it?" She blinked hard and looked again -- the giant dancing hampster was gone.   
  
Farther out in the yard a large gopher came up from his burrow beneath a banana tree, and started to out-do Mace shaking his groove thang.   
  
Hard to miss, the venerable Yoda was wearing sheep-skin chaps and a fifteen-gallon hat. In front of the band area Yoda was getting *down* with his bad self bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down. "Hmmm, enjoy this simple dance, I do."   
  
Beside Yoda, Master Yaddle with her ponytail in curls and dressed like a saloon girl bounced in time with him. "Yes, teach the Initiates, this dance, we should."   
  
The revelers caught their breath as the contagious little ditty's echo faded. Those few individuals who had long been suspected of being Darksiders or their sympathizers snapped out of their glassy-eyed trance. As one, they made for the nearest exit. They ran through the mansion and out the front door. They ran out the back entry into the alley. They leaped up and over the tall privacy wall that enclosed the yard. They ran screaming. All that that could be seen of them was the dust cloud they raised as they fled in terror.   
  
  
The End  
  
  
~ ~ ~ Moral of the story: Yes, even the Hampsters and their Hampster Dance can be a very powerful ally to the Lightside of the Force. Who knew? =:)8   
  
  
Author's note: Check out the music video! Follow the link at the new website: hampsterdance2.com =:)8   
  



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